EnglishRyan's IELTS Blog

Monday, June 12, 2017

A former examiner wrote this band 9 essay…

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Watch a second video like the above here: http://ift.tt/2stDJ3L

Here is the essay as it appears in the video:

Many people believe that a large proportion of a country’s health budget should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give examples from personal experience where appropriate.

Modern medicine has evolved along two lines: prevention and cure. Many believe that too much emphasis is placed on the latter and that the balance of national health spending should shift to prevention. I am inclined to agree; however, my support is with the stipulation that an imbalance in the other direction should be avoided.

Many modern diseases that require pharmaceutical or surgical intervention, such as diabetes, heart disease and cancer, are induced by poor lifestyle choices. There is an abundance of evidence that these conditions are brought on by such factors as smoking, excessive dietary fat and sugar, and a lack of physical exercise. I have myself lost several family members to cancers and heart disease caused by smoking. Because the cost of treating these diseases is very high, and the prognosis uncertain, the need for preventative intervention is clear.

Fulfilling this need could be exercised in a number of ways. For one, the government could provide more health and fitness centres, and mount a public awareness campaign to encourage people to use them. In addition to this, taxes could be placed on excessive salt or sugar in processed foods, and special taxes could be added to tobacco products to discourage their use. I believe that measures such as these will in the long term dramatically reduce the incidence of certain deadly diseases.

However, it should be remembered that not all examples of modern disease are preventable or predictable, and it is critical to maintain research into cures for all diseases. Thus, in diverting health spending from treatment to preventative measures, countries should encourage a balanced approach to help extend lifespans and maximise quality of life. Prevention may be better than cure, but it can never wholly replace it.



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What is IELTS?

IELTS (International English Language Testing System) is an exam that assesses the English abilities of those who wish to work or study in an English speaking country.

(The following is taken directly from ielts.org):

International Recognition

IELTS is recognised for course admission by universities in many countries, including Australia, New Zealand, Canada, the USA, the UK and increasingly in Germany and wider Europe.

In the USA the IELTS Test is now recognised by more than 1000 institutions and new ones are constantly added to the list, of which you will always find the latest version here.

IELTS is also required as proof of your language abilities for immigration to Australia, New Zealand and Canada.

What appears on the test?

The test checks the applicant's strengths in the areas of speaking, reading, listening and writing and is separated into two test types - Academic and General.

What is the difference between the Academic IELTS Module and the General Training IELTS Module?


IELTS Academic Training is a course and test designed to prepare and assess those wishing to attend institutes of higher education in English speaking countries. The listening and speaking portions of the two tests are identical, but the reading and writing portions are not. The General Module test asks the candidate to complete two writing tasks. The first is a letter (minimum 150 words). The second is an essay (minimum 250 words). The Academic Module test, however, is different. For this test, the candidate must write one piece describing factual information that is presented to them (for example, a bar graph or list of statistics). Using this information, the candidate must accurately depict in words the information presented by the images (minimum 150 words). The second task is to write an essay on a given topic (minimum 250 words).